richter

I don’t try to hide the fact that, surprisingly (especially since I’m a web developer), I’m typically really far behind the times when it comes to new technology. So I recently ditched my old phone and service provider for the (far trendier) AT&T with… not an iPhone. Gasp… how could he?

Here’s my sexy new phone:

Pretty, yes? Maybe it’s not as shiny as iPhone, but I like it better in every way. Of course I’ve played with iPhone, and it just didn’t have some things I wanted:

1. Ability to attach pictures to text messages — this is a really basic feature I used constantly on my last phone and was really surprised iPhone couldn’t do.
2. Ability to (easily) swap out memory and batteries — I kept an extra battery for my last phone in my Yahoo! backpack and I can’t tell you how many times I used it.
3. Navigation — Seriously, using Google Maps for navigation is no good. Google Maps is probably the best thing the Internet has seen since Seanbaby, but it can’t do real-time 3d maps with GPS, sorry.
4. Full Qwerty KEYS — I gotta get my fingers on actual buttons. I couldn’t get used to the touch screen’s keyboard.
5. $$$!!! Not to mention that my phone was about 25% of the price.

(Please do not correct me on these. I asked people that own them and salespeople at Parrot. Also note the date of the post and note that I don’t give a fuck.)

One thing some folks said iPhone had over a BlackBerry was a decent browser (and they’re right, the default BB Browser is fugly). But two minutes and a free download later, and I’ve got decent CSS support, full images, and, really, one helluva browser. Well done, Opera! (Normally I badmouth any browser except Firefox, but a friend of Nintendo is a friend of mine… well let’s badmouth them a little anyway. Sell-outs!).

Furthermore, BlackBerry’s (BlackBerries? whatever) have fantastic and vibrant communities, and tons of folks who make awesome homegrown games for free!

iPhone is a clear success, and I’m not saying it’s going to fail (or even if that’s possible), but has an emerging new technology never fallen on its ass before? Hype is annoying and I tend to stay far, far away until said technology is quite mature (unless it’s from Nintendo).

So get off your elitist highhorses, douchebags. Some people really don’t want iPhones. They’re very cool, of course, but saying they’re “objectively better” is just as foolish as saying “Mac is better than PC.” Hard facts like processor speed, RAM and screen size are not debatable. The subtleties of software, user interface, features and community? Of course, stupids.

I dunno, maybe I’m just too oldschool. Maybe part of me really wants to be behind the times. Maybe I’m never trendy and make fun of trendy hipster losers because I’m jealous that I’m not one… Or this could just be me reading too much Maddox, but what the cocks is wrong with that?

Also, a special thanks to the best blog on the planet, Consumerist, for helping me ditch Verizon with no penalty. I’ll say it again: best blog ever.